UPDATE #23: Knock, Knock, Knockin' on Heaven's Door

Not One, But Two, Moms on Hospice ... (Now Just One)

Patricia Fehl Keller: March 17, 1939 - July 2, 2024

July 3, 2024

My mother-in-law, Patricia Keller, is no longer receiving hospice care — she slipped into eternity on July 2, 2024, at 3:45 am. It was a peaceful passing, but a passing nonetheless.

Death is a complicated business, not for the deceased, but for the survivors. This is new territory for Chris and me as it’s the first instance of grieving the loss of a parent together. We’d both lost our fathers before meeting in 2007 - his dad, John Keller, lost his battle with cancer in 1995, and my dad, Tom Clements, succumbed to early-onset Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s disease in 2006.

While I am grieving the loss of my mother-in-law, who lived with us for seven years before moving into a care facility in 2020, I am also grieving my husband’s loss of his mother. Watching him mourn the closing of his childhood chapter adds a new element to the emotional landscape.

Soon, the roles will be reversed. Chris will be mourning the loss of his mother-in-law and will be witnessing his wife processing the loss of her mother. Yes, death is a complicated business.

For now, we rejoice knowing that Pat has completed her earthly mission.

As Paul wrote to Timothy in 2 Timothy 4:7-8, “I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.”

Pat Keller, my MIL and Chris’ “ma,” fought a good fight, finished her course, and kept the faith. She is free of her weary body and is now present with her Lord.

“We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord.” - 2 Corinthians 5:8:

Back soon …

Hug your loved ones and say everything that needs to be said now … tomorrow isn’t promised so take advantage of today.

xo,

Kelley

—

Hi All -

I have several posts in draft, but life keeps throwing curveballs so they’ve not quite made it to you. The good news about curveballs is that I’m getting pretty good at catching them! But this latest one wasn’t expected, at least not now.

My mother-in-law entered hospice care last week. Both my mom and my husband’s mom are simultaneously in hospice and receiving palliative end-of-life care. We are heartsick by my MIL’s precipitous decline, but we are at peace. She is too.

Every life has a beginning and an end, but the dates remain a mystery until they come. Chris and I have both buried our fathers, all of our grandparents, and many extended family members, so we are somewhat seasoned in the business of loss, but losing the last parent feels different. It’s the end of an era and the closing of the longest chapters of our lives. We will become orphans of a sort. We have no children, we have each other.

I will share more as I get my head around our new reality, but, rest assured, our worldview thinking has played a leading role in how our moms are dying with dignity and how we are loving them our way, along the way.

Take care of your loved ones and please hug them repeatedly and for no reason at all … sharing human affection is never overrated!

Back soon …

Warmly,

Kelley

June 17, 2024